


Mistaken Identity

by YassHomo



Category: Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Dialogue, Dialogue Heavy, Humor, Identity Reveal, M/M, Sarcasm, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-08-26
Packaged: 2019-07-02 21:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15804582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YassHomo/pseuds/YassHomo
Summary: "Luthor?" Lex repeated blankly, frowning in a rather convincing facade of innocence. Clark sighed, not knowing where this was going, but knowing that he probably wouldn't like it. "I don't know what you mean. For I have glasses, and Lex Luthor does not."





	Mistaken Identity

Recently, Lex Luthor had been acting strange.

To say that he was usually strange would be accurate, but recently - with him creating half-hearted schemes that were laughable at worse - Clark was beginning to worry. The first time a bolt of anxiety shot through him was when Lex had commented, to Clark Kent instead of Superman, how similar he looked to the caped crusader.

He froze, gaping at Lex, who merely looked up at him patiently, as though Clark's reaction was unsurprising yet disappointing. Without a word, he returned to whatever he was doing before Clark had tried to corner him for a Daily Planet report, and remained unresponsive to any of his questions. It wasn't as though he was unhappy by the lack of engagement; as soon as Clark turned a corner and was out of sight from both Lex and any surveillance, he sped home, faster than humanly possible.

However, the next day, when Superman had thwarted Luthor's _dastardly plans_ of genetically modifying all the pigeons in Metropolis to gain green feathers, Luthor made no other comment upon knowing who Superman truly was. It was probably the most confusing, convoluted plan that he had ever hatched, and Superman wasn't entirely sure what it was supposed to achieve. He didn't quite believe Luthor's shrugged explanation of aliens and how green pigeons would point out how different he was.

Unfortunately, the green pigeons were the most logical of Luthor's scheme. When he _cunningly_  and _with great malice_ bought and resold a brand of moterbikes so that they couldn't go over one hundred and twenty miles an hour, Superman had decided to just leave him to do whatever he was doing. It wasn't as though he was doing any harm - apart from worrying both Superman and the majority of Metropolis.

It was why he was deeply apprehensive that Lex Luthor had summoned Superman - not Clark Kent - for a discussion, and he had little to no choice to oblige. Regardless of how strange he was acting, he still held a ridiculous amount of power.

He didn't expect Lex to face him without his usual backup or bodyguards, and certainly wasn't expecting Lex to be facing him whilst equipped with glasses.

Clark, despite being Superman, did a physical backtake when he saw this, before smoothly recovering. Unfortunately, it seemed that Lex was looking for a reaction like this, and noticed Clark's surprise before he could hide it. "Luthor." Clark said flatly, instinctively going a search of the room for iron boxes that could potentially have Kryptonite inside. He was unsurprised when his search was fruitless. "What do you want?"

"Luthor?" Lex repeated blankly, frowning in a rather convincing facade of innocence. Clark sighed, not knowing where this was going, but knowing that he probably wouldn't like it. "I don't know what you mean. For I have glasses, and Lex Luthor does not."

"I haven't got time for this."

"If you're mistaking me for Lex Luthor, I must inform you that you are mistaken." Lex sighed, shaking his head as he gestured to his glasses. "As you can see, I am no such person. For I have these."

"What are you-" Clark's voice began to become more Clark-like in his confusion, before he cleared his voice and changed it to a more offorative tone. "Cease this foolery, Luthor."

"I insist." Lex repeated, now looking genuinely hurt. "I'm not Lex Luther. Does he have glasses? I think not. Therefore, how could I be him?"

"That..." Clark trailed off. He was too aware of how that mimicked Clark Kent, stumbling over his words, before he grasped at a recovery. "That makes no sense whatsoever."

"It does." Lex insisted, looking mildly offended that for a second, Clark had to double check that he was, in fact, Lex Luthor, and not an embarrassing case of mistaken identity. "I've prepared presentations in preparation for this. Also - why did you ignore Lex Luthor's evil plan yesterday?"

"I'm not telling my self proclaimed enemy why I ignored him yesterday." Clark rebutted. It made sense now. Lex was offended that he didn't care about the moterbikes - mostly because it prevented casualties instead of causing them.

Lex briefly dropped the innocence, looking at him with genuine offence. "One? Not ' _self proclaimed'_. He's your arch enemy, and you know it. Two? I'm not Luthor, so you can tell me."

Clark could play along.

Even though he knew that he was enabling Luthor's ridiculousness, he spoke. "Maybe I think that if Lex wanted my attention, he could've just asked to talk to me."

"Maybe Lex is awkward." Lex retorted quickly, not even stumbling over the use of third person, as though he was honestly someone else.

"Lex is president of the United States."

"Doesn't mean he isn't awkward."

Clark looked at Lex with a mixture of confusion and amusement. Lex couldn't possibly be anxious to talk to him - it wasn't as though Clark would outright antagonise him without cause, or dismiss him immediately if he had any concerns. "Why didn't Lex talk to someone that could contact Superman?"

Lex flashed him a look, one that stated that he was far, far smarter than this and letting him down greatly. "What, talk to Clark ' _I Look Nothing Like Superman Why On Earth Would You Think That_ ' Kent?"

Ah.

Instead of blurting out, "you know?" in anxious surprise, he paused, trying to calm his thoughts. Lex knows. Probably has known at the very start of his career as Superman. Coming to think of it, his expression did always possess a knowing spark. It meant that Lex wasn't going to out him, and that was far more touching than Clark wanted to look into. "He looks nothing like me."

"You're right." Lex agreed, sounding tired, as though Clark was missing the point by a mile. "He looks nothing like you, because he has _glasses_."

 "Why did you ask for me?"

"I didn't ask for you."

"Why did Lex Luthor ask for me?"

"I don't know. He might want to talk to you over coffee, as long as he knows there will be no lying or acting like someone you're not."

Logically, Clark knew that his heart hadn't stopped beating, that he was still in present time. He looked at Lex incredulously. "You're asking me for coffee."

" _I'm_ not."

Clark felt something in him break, and he looked up to the ceiling, away from Lex and his stupid glasses. "Be serious, for _five seconds_."

At this, Lex grimaced, conflicted between sticking to his role or acting less confusing. Eventually, he settled for both, by carefully stating, "If I was Lex Luthor - and I'm not - I might have been looking for attention with the whole dyeing pigeons green. If, though. And I'm not."

"Well, it's a shame I can't say yes to that coffee offer, since Lex isn't here." Clark retorted. He made a show of turning in mock disappointment, an act that Lex could see right through, but it didn't stop Lex from protesting.

"Clark?" Lex inquired, standing up.

Clark turned.

"I cannot keep this deceit up. I have to tell you a secret." Lex said dryly, before removing his glasses. "It was me, Lex Luthor, all along."

"I know, Lex."

"It might be hard for you to adjust to suddenly knowing that the man you had discussed openly with was me-"

"I _know_ , Lex."

"-but since we're literally the same person, you should be able to accept me."

"I'm not surprised."

"If that helps you allow the change, then I will let you pretend that you aren't completely shocked, too."

"You're strange." Clark stated slowly, as though this was a sudden realisation, even though it truly wasn't.

Lex frowned at him, appearing slightly worried as he said, "No, I'm Lex."


End file.
